Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Portland Bachelorette Recs for Olds

It’s that time of the year, folks: bachelorette party season!

Kel and I have been on the bach party circuit for almost 10 years (omg, barf, we are old), so we’re pretty much experts.

In this post, we’re going to do something we almost NEVER do: respond to a request from one of our readers. Yeah, it’s like a pretty big deal (and not just because we didn’t know we still had any readers. Okay, that’s exactly why).

Christina writes:

“There's a few of us ladies coming down to Portland for a weekend in May. We are in our mid 30s and up, professionals coming for a bachelorette. Any chance you could give me some ideas on where to go and what do, etc? We’re staying at [a nice downtown hotel].”

Christina, we have so many ideas for you. But first, here’s a list of our previous bachelorette party coverage:

Okay, so Christina, we are going to assume that Friday is going to be your more laid-back night. Like your jeans, going-out top, cute booties kind of night. Saturday night is going to be your BIG NIGHT where you get all fancied up. We're also keeping you (mostly) within walking distance of your nice downtown hotel. Also, we didn't include any of these spots in our recs, but some of Portland's gay and drag bars/clubs are not into bachelorette parties, and some might even deny you entry if you are overtly a bach party - just a heads up.


Portland 30+ Bachelorette Party Itinerary:


  • Explore The Pearl in the afternoon. Don’t miss Powell’s Books!
*Never order the punch at Kask. We don't think they serve it anymore because it was so bad, but if for some reason it's back, do not be tempted.


  • Lyft to Washington Park to check out the Rose Garden/do some light hiking 
  • Getting ready + game time back at the hotel 
*We don't love the food at Departure but the luxe vibe can be fun, especially if you start with a drink on the rooftop patio overlooking the city.


  • Recovery brunch at Tasty & Alder (send your least hungover friend to put your name on the list at least an hour before you want to eat.) 

Other Options: 

If you’re feeling refined (and patient), you could also get to Multnomah Whiskey Library right when they open at 4pm on Friday or Saturday and put your name in. This has the potential to derail your plans as you are now at the mercy of the waitlist, but MWL can be worth it if you’re looking for a chill night spent sipping cocktails with the girls rather than schmoozing with strangers.

The eastside is also worth a visit when in Portland, so instead of heading to Washington Park on Saturday, you could instead Lyft to N Mississippi Ave. to wander a bit, go shopping at our favorite boutique Sloan, and have lunch at Por Que No (expect a line). Portland's eastside Urban Wineries would also be fun to check out and you could even end at SE Wine Collective for happy hour.

We are over/too old for the "club scene" here, but if that's what you're looking for, Century Bar and Holocene, both on the eastside, are much better options than anything in Old Town (avoid Barrel Room at all costs!).

Friday, February 2, 2018

Portland Brunch: Proud Mary Coffee USA

What: Proud Mary Coffee USA
Where: 2012 NE Alberta St
When: Kitchen closes at 3pm
Honeys Heart: Most everything but the prices

Not to brag, but we’ve kinda been killing the brunch game lately. We found this gem out in SE and managed to get into this popular spot with zero wait.

To continue our streak, we decided to check out the much-buzzed-about Proud Mary Coffee USA.

More restaurant than counter-service coffee shop, Proud Mary is a Melbourne-based micro-chain and Portland is its first stateside location.

After a short wait for our party of 2, we kicked things off with some coffee. These people know their way around latte art, let me tell you!

Really taking things to the next level with the cocoa powder addition on the cappuccino. I thought this was just a British proclivity, but I'm happy to see the Australians are on board too.

With too many tasty-sounding options on the food menu, we turned to our server for support. He pointed to the hash as a customer favorite but said his personal pick would be the cauliflower dish. Done!

I don't think I've even seen a prettier Potato Hash ($16). Served with smoked bacon, a poached egg, kale salad, and bagna cauda (a traditional Italian sauce made with garlic, anchovies, and cream), this hash was just as rich and delicious as it looks.

The Cauli-Town ($14.5) also did not disappoint. With the exception of its sesame granola, this was certainly not your traditional brunch dish (outside of brunch at Tasty n Sons, I guess) but the spiced cauliflower, chickpea dahl puree, tahini, and crispy chickpeas made for a very tasty combo of flavors and textures. Plus, it provided a nice, light contrast to the heavier hash.

Overall, we were very happy with our visit. Yes, the dishes are on the pricier side, but if you skip brunch cocktails like we did in favor of coffee (#toohungoverforhairofthedog), the bill seemed on par with what we would expect for a nicer brunch. 

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Portland Restaurant: Short Round

Where: 3962 SE Hawthorne Blvd

When: Daily 11am - 12am
Honeys Heart: Grilled Mussels + Wings (for today)

As covered in a previous post, I rarely cook in my transitional housing (new apartment and healthier lifestyle coming soon). Luckily, I have one friend who at least makes me workout before we indulge in a happy hour or bottle(s) of wine.

Maggie and I met for a Barre3 class and then booked it from NW Marshall to SE Hawthorne in record time for happy hour at Short Round. Side note, we have decided Barre3 classes are too full and the consequential foggy mirror grosses me out.

Anyway, Fish Sauce's sister restaurant opened last summer and is serving up Saigon street food with a daily happy hour from 3-6pm and 9pm-midnight. We arrived at 5:55pm and managed to put in an exhaustive food order and two drinks by 5:58pm. Our bartender was on it, and I appreciated the assist versus semi-ignoring us to avoid the end of happy hour all together.

We started with a Gin Gimlet ($6) and Whiskey Sour ($6). When summer time hits and Maggie and I meet here - it's between our digs so I anticipate a second visit - I will be into trying the fresh Watermelon Margarita frozen cocktail ($8).

For food, we ordered seven things and the variety and corresponding price tags made it possible to get a true sampling. In order of how things came out...

First up, Chao Tom* ($3), the fried sugarcane shrimp.
*lets just note that the proper Vietnamese characters are not included

The Grilled Mussels ($5) were a bartender recommendation and I think they were one of our favorite items. We were doing some serious catching up and I wasn't paying nearly enough attention, but there where cheese and peanuts involved, and that sounds like a weird combo, but we were into it.

Bo La Lot ($4) beef wrap betel leaf. Perhaps our least favorite, but I'm glad we tried it.

I love the texture of sticky rice. so the Banh Tet ($3 - pan fried sticky rice cake with pork belly and mung bean) was simple but satisfying.

Another bartender recommendation, the wings ($4). I'm not typically a wings kind of gal, but if I had to choose I would go Asian vs buffalo. Plus, these were crispy and drizzled with just the right amount of sauce.

These Cha Gio ($2) are pretty self-explanatory. For $2, why not?!

And lastly, the Chicken Banh Mi ($7) with a side of sweet potato fries. My fav Banh Mi is at Lela's so in order of Banh Mi's, I probably would skip this for more mussels, wings, or to try some of our bartenders other highlighted dishes, i.e. the Soy Sauce Geoduck ($7) or the prawns.

Verdict? I would definitely go back. The industrial space has the owner's mom and mother-in-law in the kitchen. Something I didn't know at the time, but makes it more charming. And for five drinks plus all this food, our grand total was $64. It's in the budget!

Friday, December 29, 2017

Portland Restaurant: Olympia Oyster Bar

What: Olympia Oyster Bar 
Where: 4214 N Mississippi 
When: Tues-Thurs 4-9 pm, Fri & Sat 2-10 pm, Sun 2-9pm, HH open-6 pm Tues-Fri 
Honeys Heart: Natty and Shellfish Wednesday Special

My life really got a solid shake up in 2017 and as a result, my cousin Chase got an expected new roommate: yours truly! My new living situation means more than a few things have changed for me. For example:

  • I drink good wine now (because I drink Chase's wine).
  • I watch substantially more sports and boy movies, i.e. movies with Keanu Reeves.
  • I have been exploring more of my new neighborhood, Mississippi St.
  • I don't cook anymore because one of my roomies cooks, or I order food, or I meet up with friends.

In accordance with those last two bullet points, I think I have now been to every restaurant on Mississippi, my favs being Lovely's Fifty Fifty, Por Que No, and my #1, Olympia Oyster Bar.

(photo courtesy of Olympia's website)

Olympia Oyster Bar (can we just call it OOB because I'm typing this hungover and it's a long restaurant name?) is just the cutest neighborhood oyster and wine bar with dishes inspired by Chef Maylin's Mexican heritage and flavors influenced by Japan and the Mediterranean. It's where I like to go when I want to class it up a bit and balance out those nights of drinking beer at dive bars (because I do that now too).

The best discovery I made about OOB is their Wednesday night "Natty and Shellfish" special. It's a $20 bucket of mussels and clams and $20(ish) bottles of natural wines. The bucket is enough to share, but if I'm going to be drinking/eating alone (add that to the list), it feels better to do it somewhere nice.

On my recent solo visit, I did take home about half the mussels and clams and half the bottle of wine because Chase and I needed to watch The Voice. #priorities

I also probably didn't need to add oysters into the mix that night seeing as how I was a party of one, but I felt like trying their Raw Pomegranate ($13) preparation with pomegranate elixir, ginger amaranth, and blood orange oil. I mean, it was tasty but I would rather go on "Oyster Tuesday" and just get a $9 half dozen. 

Because I have become obsessed with this Wednesday night special, I try to go a lot. A friend I hadn't seen in six months wanted to grab happy hour and I knew the life update would need to be accompanied by plenty of wine - perfect opportunity for the OOB Wednesday night special!

Bottle one. Look at that funny dog...

Yes, we got the mussels and clams and yes, it was delicious again.

Bottle two. 

Two bottles in means more food, obvs. We tried to get bread and goat butter, but they were out of butter so instead we tried the Trout Conserva Toast ($7) off the happy hour menu. It was light, fresh, and delish.

There were a couple other things on their happy hour that looked tasty, so I'm open for Wednesday night dates (friend dates, come on...) with people so that I can try more things.

Bottle three. (Yes, you read that right. We had three bottles of wine and the best part is that for three bottles of wine, mussels and clams, and trout toast, I think our bill was only $96 aka $48 per person... um, that's a good deal for all that food and wine!)

In addition to great food and drink, the service at OOB has always been exceptional. Their staff is friendly and they offer recommendations, which is important for someone who lacks certain decision-making capabilities.

Even when I move out of the hood (I can't live with my cousin forever, I am a 30-year-old single lady, after all) OOB will bring me back. And probably I'll also swing by Chase's for some wine while I'm at it...